You’ve likely seen countless examples of colourful behaviour charts peppered with stars and stickers being used to encourage good behaviour and discourage naughtiness in children. You’ve probably even given them a go yourself – launching into behaviour-chart land with gusto and visions of wonderfully behaved children proudly counting their reward stickers, only to find the reality is a chart hung lopsidedly behind the kitchen door bearing only two stickers that date back to when it was started.
So what’s going wrong? The truth is, behaviour charts can work and are really effective at changing a child’s behaviour – as long as the right conditions are met. When used correctly, behaviour charts can be a great tool to help children work toward goals, improve executive functioning, and create calmer households. However, it’s important to note that behaviour charts aren’t always suitable for all children. Behaviour charts should not be used with children under three because toddlers at this age do not yet have the appropriate emotional regulation to make sense of big feelings, nor might they be able to understand precisely what is being asked of them or the concept of an incentive linked to this request. Any developmental or learning needs such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) should also be considered; a child with ADHD might have difficulty staying focused on certain tasks and is not misbehaving intentionally, so using a behaviour chart will not necessarily support behavioural change or be in the best interests of that child.
How to get a behaviour chart right:
Use them to reward positive behaviour
A great way to introduce behaviour charts to your child is by using them to reinforce the positive behaviours they display as opposed to punishing those behaviours that are undesirable. These types of charts are often referred to as recognition charts, so go ahead and pick around 6–10 positive behaviours you’d like to see your child display. By noticing and rewarding positive behaviours, you are reinforcing the behaviour you’d like to see and making it easier for your child to make good choices. For example, a reward for ‘Alex shared toys with his brother Charlie today’ is a more positive take than punishing ‘Alex didn't share toys with his brother Charlie today’.
Understand what lies behind the behaviour
If your child is the appropriate age and has the ability to understand charts but you find they still aren’t working effectively, it may be that there’s a misunderstanding about why your child is displaying a particular behaviour. It’s key that you understand the root of the ‘problem’ behaviour you want to change, so try and avoid making assumptions that your child is wilfully misbehaving and instead look at what skills they might still be missing. For example, ‘tidy your room’ might be too abstract a concept for the stage of development your child is at, whereas ‘put all your toys that are out in your bedroom back in your toy box’ might work better.
Consistency is key
One of the most common reasons behaviour charts don't work is a lack of parental consistency; once your child realises that you’ve forgotten to reward them for something they soon lose interest in the process. However, this piece of advice is not here to blame or shame parents – often the reason behind inconsistency is simply that parental life is busy! The last thing you want to have to remember at the end of a long day is whether your child brushed her teeth for 45 seconds this morning. One solution to help increase consistency and make it easier for you to follow through is to simplify the behaviours on the chart. Make it easy enough for both you and your child to monitor – so instead you might only need to remember ‘did my child brush their teeth this morning?’ Children are highly motivated by praise, so noticing and positively reinforcing them every time they perform a behaviour you are working on will help to embed that behaviour.
Make the rewards achievable and specify how they will be achieved
Once you’ve outlined the behaviours your child is working on, make sure the rewards are achievable and appropriate. For example, if they get a sticker on their chart for putting their shoes away when they come home from school, how many stars do they need in a week to trade for a reward? If the reward is never achievable, or takes too long to achieve, your child may lose interest, so make sure there's plenty of opportunities for them to be reinforced: two stickers in a week may mean they get £1 extra pocket money at the weekend, but five stickers for the full week may mean they get a taken for a milkshake at the weekend too, etc. The reward should also be appropriate for the type of behaviour being displayed – it’s unrealistic that a child could get a new tablet simply for a whole week of putting their shoes away, but earning a milkshake suits just fine!
Get your child involved
Another idea to help make behaviour charts more effective is to get your child involved; let them get creative and draw the chart themselves or colour elements in. Also ask them what incentives and rewards they might like rather than selecting them all yourself – this will create a sense of ownership and autonomy which should lend itself to the effectiveness of the chart. It’s also a good idea to use extra visual cues like timers or tokens in jars in addition to using a chart as these will all help your child to understand the purpose of the chart.
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